Why Do People Leave Each Other?

Dear Mimi,

In this part of the book, Sr. Yasmin mentions how attachment was her biggest weakness. And honestly, it is mine too. It’s really hard growing up away from all of your grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins, especially when everyone around you seemed to have all of theirs close by. Eids were lonely, Thanksgivings were hard, and it was difficult to not be able to enjoy your friends and family in the same place. It always felt like I had to choose: either go to India for 3 months and forget about spending summer with my friends, or stay here with my friends and miss out on family. It could never be combined.

The times I did have with my family though, were better than and closer to my heart than any of the times spent with my friends. Yes, alhumdulillah, my friends were great, but at the end of the day, I had to go home and they had to go home. With family though, they were your home. You never had to leave. They were a part of you, and you, a part of them. And of course, because I never saw them as often as I would’ve liked, they became my attachment. They became my test of patience in this dunya.

I had everything I could’ve dreamed of, alhumdulliah. I had a big house, my own computer, countless number of clothes, all the food I wanted, friends all around me. I went to good schools and did well. It was as if I was living the perfect life, but I wasn’t. What was missing? My family. I vowed that I would never let this happen to my kids, that they would have family around them, without having to travel across the world. And this is how Allah tested me. When I saw my friends go to their grandma’s houses for Eid, was I being jealous and hateful, or was I thankful for the clean clothes I had, my house, and all of my other things? When I did go to see my family, did I cherish the time I had with them, or was I ungrateful that I had to leave at the end of it?

This life isn’t perfect. It’s not supposed to be. If it was, why would we ever want to leave it? Allah SWT is making sure, in the ways that he tests us, with attachments, that we don’t get too attached to anything else other than Him. Which is why, after staying for 3 months, I had to leave. In the next world, inshAllah, in Jannah, things are supposed to be perfect. Everything will work out. If everything worked out here, what’s the point of Jannah?

I often have to remind myself to be thankful for all the times I do have with my family and how close I am to them despite the circumstances. Some of my friends who have their families here with them aren’t even that close to them. But alhumdullilah, even from over 2000 miles away, I still consider my family to be the closest and most cherished people in my heart. Whenever I return, it feels like I have never left. And that is a huge blessing.

And so dear Mimi, cherish our family, your friends, and the moments. But, remember, do not get too attached to anything other than Allah SWT. Because everything has to leave us. Because nothing in this world lasts forever. Because the dunya was a punishment for Adam. Because perfection is for Jannah, not for this world.

Love, Didi

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