Valen-times? Valen-times.

Dear Mimi,

So Valentine’s Day is here. Love is in the air as they say. Well blech. Tell love to stop contaminating my air.

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Yes, it’s true. Your older seemingly sweet sister is one of those mean old grouches who hates Valentine’s Day. You might say, oh you just don’t like Valentine’s Day because you don’t have a valentine. Well bah humbug! I wouldn’t celebrate it even if I did have one. And single’s awareness day isn’t that much better either. (But I do love a good Galentine’s Day, if only I had a Leslie Knope in real life).

My homegirl, Leslie Knope. Preach sister, preach!

My homegirl, Leslie Knope. Preach sister, preach!

Valentine’s Day to me honestly is one of the stupidest days in the year. I mean, the concept of love if already so embedded within our society year round with all of the love songs, rom coms, the best friends getting together in pretty much every single TV show. Why do we need to furthermore dedicate a whole day to it, while on top of it, making single people feel like crap that they haven’t that person yet or desperate to find someone, even it’s the hobo down the street, just to feel like they’re not alone? It’s ridiculous!

People in relationships already enjoy their relationships all the time, so why do they need a specific day to enjoy it more? Now, I know I’m no romantic at heart or whatever, but if you need to show someone how much you love them on a commercialized day of the year, that is pretty sad in my not-so-humble opinion. You should be showing the person that you are with how much you love them every single day of every single year that you have together, not just on one day. I have a theory that this day was made up by chocolatiers and florists, who weren’t getting enough business, like “hey! Why don’t we dupe people into thinking that they need to give these things to their beloved on this dumb day so that we can increase our business!” Seriously.

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49 Reasons Why Sisters are One of God’s Greatest Gifts

Dear Mimi,

You are a lucky one. You have 3 beautiful, smart, funny, goofy, snarky older sisters who are there to pave the way for you. It was hard being the oldest. I mean, yeah I did get the most attention growing up, but I also had to figure what everything else was on my own, like how to do my hair, wear makeup, and use the word “dumb” correctly when describing the class bully. (No, don’t do that, that is mean).

But in all honesty, sisters are some of the most amazing humans in your life and here’s why.

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  1. They will talk to you about anything and everything from boys to school to clothes to life to how annoying your brothers are and how to most effectively annoy them back.
  2. They will help you get ready for parties and prom, making sure you look your most beautiful every time.
  3. They will always forgive you when you wear their clothes without asking.
  4. They will come to your side when you are crying for no reason.
  5. They will teach you about shoes, how to properly match a necklace to an outfit, makeup and caring for your skin, how to talk to boys, and how to achieve the perfect combination of cute and smart.
  6. They will show you how to get away with things from your parents (lol jk, but not really) and cover for you when you wanna secretly go get ice cream with your friends.  Continue reading

Happy Birthday!

Dear Mimi,

Happy 4th Birthday! You are such a big girl now! Cue the cliche things that everyone usually says at birthdays: I can’t believe you’re 4 years old already! Time has passed by so quick! And I remember when you were still a little baby! Ok, done with those.

It has been fun to see you grow and see how you were a nonchalant baby to now a sassy fire mouthed toddler. The things you say sometimes really surprises me. I also wonder when you’re going to stop talking like a boy, although it’s not really your fault since you’re surrounded by them most of the time lol.  Continue reading

Blogging the Bachelor: Week 6

Dear Mimi,

So apparently, I watched 5 episodes, not 4. My bad.

Anywho, let’s just start with episode 6.

Okay, so they didn’t finish the rose ceremony from last time, and that’s what they start with. This chick who apparently has a “panic attack” to get a sympathy rose (roses are what they get so they can stay for one more week). And this girl is on the floor hysterically just laughing and breathing and I’m just like girl, my 4 year old sister can do better acting than that. One girl even says that if the fake girl gets a rose, she might spontaneously combust. LOL.

Moving on. One girl cries because she doesn’t have a sad story in her life. Wow, what has the world come to? Instead of being grateful, we actually want bad things to happen to us and are crying over it. Also, the single mom finally got eliminated. That should’ve happened a while ago. And she even says that she will never get over it, which further justifies just how immature she is. I also hate how every single place these people go to, they’re always like “This is the perfect place to fall in love”. Yeah, okay.

Cut to a scene where they show Chris shaving. WHY DO WE NEED TO SEE SOMEONE GO THRU HIS OR HER PERSONAL ROUTINE I DON’T UNDERSTAND. Then he says, I’m not looking for drama, I’m looking for a wife. Well dude, you should know that if you put 15 girls together all fighting for you, they kinda go hand in hand. Just saying. Also, Deadwood, South Dakota? Does love go to die there or is it just the trees? Carly, by the way can I just say, is one of my favorites. She is just so damn real and I love it. I think we could be best friends. Continue reading

Blogging the Bachelor: Weeks 1-4

Dear Mimi,

Umm so okay. I don’t know what I just watched, but it was weird, and cringe worthy, yet highly entertaining. Sure it was boring at most times, and I didn’t care much for the dates (seriously? Rolling around in an inflatable ball in the middle of Costco?! Have some decency!), but these people were just downright obnoxiously hilarious. Where do the producers find these people? I really want to know.

Let’s start with the Bachelor himself, Chris. Homeboy can’t talk for his life. I mean, I guess as a farmer in Iowa, you aren’t ever in situations where you need to talk with any sort of eloquence, but still man! You’re on national TV! You should’ve visited your old teacher at her one room schoolhouse and practiced. I’m surprised no one has left because of that yet, because I know I wouldn’t be able to stay with someone who has that much trouble putting sentences together. Also, this guy just must not see a lot of women in his everyday life or just loves women way too much to have any self-control. I feel like more than eating the food on his dates, he’s eating the women’s faces instead, like some kinda weird romantic cannibal. Can I point out that more than one woman called him out on it?! That’s when you know, bro. Either way, it is just too shameless and not classy.

Now onto the women. So I think we have everyone and everything from a sports fishing enthusiast (which I think is just a fancy way of saying I don’t have a job and would rather just lay on a boat all day) to a cruise ship singer (how are you gonna go from that to living on a farm in the middle of nowhere?) to a couple journalists to a waitress to some teachers/guidance counselors to a cheerleader, a plus sized model who doesn’t look plus sized at all, to some single moms, one of which is 21. Yeah, can we talk about that? Why is she here? What in her right mind thought this was a good idea? I am pretty much her age, and while I might possibly maybe perhaps be ready to consider contemplating the mere IDEA of marriage, it definitely wouldn’t be with someone who is 12 years older than me. Also, she has a kid. Like seriously? Do you actually think he’s gonna pick you? Go home and spend time with your child. Continue reading

Trudging My Way thru “The Bachelor”

Dear Mimi,

I swore I would never watch The Bachelor and now I’ve lost a bet so here I am.

Here’s everything I know about it:

-It’s a dating show for people who seemingly can’t find people in the places they live

-I’m assuming there’s a lot of drama. I mean c’mon, it’s pretty much one big sorority house, AND they’re all fighting for the same damn guy…this has drama all over it.

-The most famous line that gets repeated is “I’m not here to make friends”. Well obviously, why would you go on a show like this to make friends? If you do, you need to reevaluate your life.

So with that being said, here I go. Wish me luck Mimi, because I think I might just go insane.

Oh, and here is the picture of the current bachelor of this season. His name? Chris “Prince Farming” Soules, cuz he’s a farmer in Indiana or something like that.

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(Also, the season has already started, so I’m just going to post once about what I think about the first 3? 4? episodes, and then post once a week about each one)