#RishtaRoulette: Stuck in the 1950’s

#RishtaRoulette: Stuck in the 1950’s

Him: So what are you planning to do?

Me: I just finished applying to medical school.

Him: Oh. *pause* So you want to be a doctor?

Me: Yeah, that’s the plan.

Him: *even longer pause* Oh.

Me: Is everything okay?

Him: Yeah, it’s just I don’t want to marry someone who will make more money than me.

Me:

screen-shot-2016-12-30-at-12-48-34-pm

#RishtaRoulette: Age is but a Number

#RishtaRoulette: Age is but a Number

~So this was actually the dude’s mom, who stopped me as I was coming down the stairs at a banquet. Keep in mind I have no cahoots as to who this lady was. My friend and I were descending the stairs after sneaking up to get some pizza. This is the only time pizza has failed me.~

Her: You look so pretty dear.

Me: Thank you Auntie. *proceeds to keep going down the stairs*

Her: Wait, I want your mom’s number. I want you to marry my son.

Me: *extremely weirded out* My mom is actually in India right now (this was true).

Her: It’s okay, I can call her when she gets back. When is she coming back?

Me: No Auntie. Thank you very much, but I’m too young now. (I was 18).

Her: Nonsense. 18 is a perfect age to get married. My son isn’t that old either. He’s only 28.

Me:

screen-shot-2016-12-06-at-1-32-53-pm

Rishta Report: What Aunties Don’t Tell You

Dear Mimi,

Welcome to my new little tid-bit, Rishta Report. As I continue to go thru this tumultuous journey that Nani is convinced is actually one of the best things I can do, might as well share them all with you, so that you know what to expect when you’re older. Or you can wallow with me in your misfortune when your time comes. Either one, your choice.

Starting now, I’ll “report” (see what I did there) on the ups and (hopefully not many) downs of this process, and we’ll see how it goes. Better than being on ‘The Bachelor’, right?


Rishta Report: What the Aunties Don’t Tell You

Once you hit 20, all the aunties automatically know. It’s like they have an alarm so that they know when they can start pestering you about getting married. Where these alarms are, I have yet to find out. But when I do, I will destroy them all. I promise.

screen-shot-2016-12-06-at-2-23-55-pm

Anyway, so now all the aunties are telling you how great it is to be married and automatically deem themselves the matchmaker lady of the world, so they’re all throwing these guys at you and you’re just existing, feeling like this:

Screen Shot 2016-12-06 at 2.41.14 PM.png

I swear to you, it’s in the auntie handbook. Page 1: ‘First Rule of Being an Auntie: Encourage marriage at all opportunities. Heck, don’t even wait for an opportunity. Just bring it up always and often. And continuously have different rishtas to suggest’. There you go.

Continue reading

#RishtaRoulette: Bollywood’s Biggest Fan

#RishtaRoulette: Bollywood’s Biggest Fan

Him: Have you ever met a Bollywood celebrity?

Me: Yeah, I met ShahRukh Khan once.

Him: I’ve met him too. And Hrithik Roshan, Katrina Kaif, Ranbir Kapoor, Deepika Padukone, Parineeti Chopra, Priyanka Chopra, and Siddharth Malhotra.

Me: Oh, cool.

Him: It’s one of the perks of the ‘hashtag diplomat life’ you know? (Yes, I can’t believe he actually used the word ‘hashtag’ in conversation either). If we get married, you’ll get to meet all of them too.

Me:

screen-shot-2016-11-28-at-11-09-21-pm

Marriage…with you..?? Never!!

Him: Oh, and Aditya Roy Kapoor. Forgot about him.

#RishtaRoulette

Dear Mimi,

The struggles of a brown girl to get married is not one to overlook. Oh the guys you’ll come across. It’s quite a disgrace to the rest of the brown population.

Hence, I’m introducing a new segment that perfectly captures this experience. Introducing #RishtaRoulette.

So world, if you have any weird, awkward, funny, or embarrassing rishta stories, let me know below! I would love to feature them in this section, mainly because I’m really hoping I’m not the only one with the misfortune of meeting people like this:

screen-shot-2016-11-28-at-10-48-48-pm

Also, while we’re speaking of the horrors of the rishta process, check out The Single Muslimah. She captures the essence of it in hilarious memes. It’s definitely worth a look-see.

Enjoy your childhood Mimi.

Love,

Didi

Learning to Let Go

Dear Mimi,

I wanted to write this post a while ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it until now.

Several months ago, I met this guy. And yes, throughout life, you will meet many guys etcetera etcetera. But this guy was different. He was everything any girl, and more specifically I, would ever want: tall, handsome, smart, funny, kind, responsible, caring, trustworthy, successful. He was beyond my wildest dreams. I had lost hope that guys like him even existed, let alone having the pleasure of meeting one.

We were introduced by mutual friends and things proceeded smoothly. We talked, I met his parents, he met mine. Just the thought of him made me excited for the future and there was no doubt in my mind that he was ‘the one’. I didn’t even deserve him. He was too good for me. I considered myself lucky just to be able to get to know him. Things were going great.

Until they weren’t. Continue reading

Fun Questions to Ask When Getting to Know Someone to Make It Less Awkward

Dear Mimi,

First dates, or even first meetings, can be less than graceful. With the holiday season upon us, it’s impossible to predict where we’ll meet someone: at holiday parties, on the plane, happening to pick the last item of something and fighting over it on Black Friday. The possibilities are endless. And heck, for us desi girls, meeting with a rishta for the first time can be (sorry, IS) all sorts of gawky and unpleasant. My advice? Make it into a game.

Okay before you jump to ‘my sister is inexcusably crazy’, hear me out. In the end, we all want someone who we can laugh, have fun, and be ourselves with. And what better litmus test? If the person you’re talking to finds it weird or thinks they’re above it, you know that’s not the person for you. But, if they go along with it, you learn a couple different positive things about them: 1) They aren’t afraid to have a little fun. 2) They can go with the flow. 3) They’re open to trying new things, even though they may be a bit uncomfortable. All good traits you should be looking for.

screen-shot-2016-11-24-at-1-55-45-pm

Continue reading

4AM Friends

Dear Mimi,

Awhile ago, I met this guy who was absolutely incredible. Smart, tall, funny, handsome, and more, he was everything I had ever wanted. Naturally, what is the first thing I did after I met said guy? I’m a girl, so obviously I’m gonna tell my best friends.

Now, here’s the thing about our friendship. We don’t see each other often, but when we do, we hang out for hours and talk about everything. It’s like there was never a break in between. Sure, sometimes we text each other, and talk on the phone, but nothing beats in-person conversation.

So one night, after getting frapp├ęs from McDonald’s, we sat in her car in my driveway, as I told her all about him. I vented to her about my insecurities, how I was excited, yet terrified, eager, yet cautious. After listening to me get giddy over some dude I had only met a few times, she asked me a question, “How much do you think it’ll wreck you if it doesn’t work out?”

At the time, it was a slap in the face. I paused out of shock and she repeated herself. I answered honestly, but I was baffled. Why would she ask me something like that? Shouldn’t she be excited for me? I know she wasn’t jealous since she was already engaged, and I was so confused. Why would she think about that? Even I hadn’t thought about that. And why would she choose that as the first question to ask? What kind of person does that?

Well Mimi, a true friend does that.

You see, she was asking me the questions I was too afraid to ask myself. She was protecting me from getting hurt or getting too entangled by making me consider a possibility I didn’t want to. She, in her own subtle way, was reminding me to ground myself. If she had told me straight up, perhaps I wouldn’t have listened so attentively.

These are the friends we need Mimi. Friends who see things that we don’t; friends that understand us, sometimes, better than we understand ourselves. Friends who will always want the best for you and will do whatever it takes to make sure you get it, even if they know the truth will hurt you.

Find these friends, and hold on to them. Those who aren’t afraid to tell it like it is. Those who will support you even if they don’t agree with you. Those who make you think about what you really want. Those who push you to your limits and encourage your dreams. Those who make you think about all the possibilities. Those who will lift you up when it seems everyone else is pushing you down. Those who see the light in you when you’re convinced that it’s gone. Those who include you in their futures. Those who you can spend hours laughing with. Those who are your soulmates before any guy ever was. Those who feel lucky to have a friend like you. Those who already know your deepest and darkest fears. Those who you can spend forever with and still not run out of things to discuss. Those who make you feel like together, you can rule the world. Those who you trust. Those who you can call at 4AM.

One of my favorite sayings (hadiths) of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) says that “souls that recognize each another unite in harmony, and those that do not are at odds”. This means that we knew our friends in heaven, and God has blessed us with meeting them again on the Earth. May He grant us all friends that we will reunite with again in Heaven, and until then, make the journey on Earth a little more enjoyable.

Love,

Didi

Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. ~Euripides

True friends say good things behind your back, and bad things to your face.