An Open Letter To My Fiancé’s Ex — ‘The One That Got Away’

Dear Mimi,

This is a post written by one of my closest friends. It describes, true, raw emotion of love, something I cannot describe to you yet, having never felt that before. I hope you read it and learn something, how to be vulnerable, how life can change, how love works.

Love,
Didi

Thought Catalog

Flickr / Richard P J LambertFlickr / Richard P J Lambert

Dear S,

Even though we’ve never met, I feel like I know you. Despite living at opposite ends of the country, we’re kind of like neighbors. Except, the space we share is in his heart. And here I am, finally doing what you weren’t able to finish. I’m sorry. But I won’t feel right proceeding without letting you know a few things.

I want you to know that I saw it. I saw the way he loved you. The way, because of you, for the first time in his life, he was happy. The way he wouldn’t even look at another girl because he was so captivated by you. I saw the way that even though he was here, back home physically, his mind and heart were back in California with you. I saw the way nothing else mattered to him. I saw that…

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Why Do People Leave Each Other?

Dear Mimi,

In this part of the book, Sr. Yasmin mentions how attachment was her biggest weakness. And honestly, it is mine too. It’s really hard growing up away from all of your grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins, especially when everyone around you seemed to have all of theirs close by. Eids were lonely, Thanksgivings were hard, and it was difficult to not be able to enjoy your friends and family in the same place. It always felt like I had to choose: either go to India for 3 months and forget about spending summer with my friends, or stay here with my friends and miss out on family. It could never be combined.

The times I did have with my family though, were better than and closer to my heart than any of the times spent with my friends. Yes, alhumdulillah, my friends were great, but at the end of the day, I had to go home and they had to go home. With family though, they were your home. You never had to leave. They were a part of you, and you, a part of them. And of course, because I never saw them as often as I would’ve liked, they became my attachment. They became my test of patience in this dunya. Continue reading

Reclaim Your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed

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Dear Mimi,

Recently, I heard about a book called “Reclaim Your Heart” by Yasmin Mogahed. I knew people who have read it, including some of my friends, and claimed that it had changed their lives. Ever since I turned 20, and started the third, and probably most important, decade of my life (OMG I’m SO OLD!), I have been looking to change myself and start anew. They say that a person changes every ten years, and it seemed that my timeline was exactly on point.

So, in the spirit of 2015, new changes, and a better life, I bought the book. Everyone who has read this book has told me to think and reflect after each chapter. So, I will do that here, with you, so I can ventilate my thoughts, and you can learn from my experiences of this crazy thing called life. Of course, you can borrow the book anytime you want. But in the meantime (or if you’re too lazy to read it all haha, I meant the book, not the blog 😉 ), here goes.

Bismillah.

Love, Didi

Your heart knows things your mind can’t explain.

Perfection is Merely an Illusion

Dear Mimi,

No one is perfect. No one. And you know what? That is perfectly okay!

In life, we are like a ball with a million strings attached to us and everyone pulling at those strings in every direction, so much so that it seems impossible to move anywhere. We have pressures put on us and expectations that we are required to fulfill from just about everyone. And let me tell you, it is impossible to fulfill those expectations.

I’m here to tell you that it is okay to blow-up and cry and be angry, sad, hurt, frustrated, and hopeless. It is okay to tell the world NO!Image

My little cutie pie, it is okay. Cry, yell, scream, HAVE A MELTDOWN. It will help. Trust me.

But don’t just stop there. Remember that God is there for you, He is watching you and He will never give you more than you can handle. Allah (SWT) knows who you are and what you can handle more than anyone else and He says in Surah Al-Araf (one place out of many) ” But those who believe and work righteousness,- no burden do We place on any soul, but that which it can bear,- they will be Companions of the Garden, therein to dwell (for ever)” 7:42.

After you break down, remember to pick up the pieces and take things ONE at a time. It is the only way you will get anything done.

No one in the world is perfect. If we were, so many problems and temptations that we have today would not exist. Some people may seem perfect on the outside and may look like they have everything, but believe me, that is just an illusion. Everyone deals with trials and faces challenges, but the way you see it depends on your attitude. You can either face it or run from it, but it will still be there. It is okay to feel like everything is slowly falling apart, but remember, “after hardship comes ease” 94:6, and that is Allah (SWT)’s promise. And He NEVER breaks his promise.

Make a list. Get your stuff out. Be motivated. Have determination. Reward yourself.

And most importantly, give yourself a break. 🙂

Love, Didi

“Everything works out in the end. if it hasn’t worked out yet, then it’s not the end.”

― Tracy McMillan