Blogging the Bachelor: Season 21, Episode 2

Dear Mimi,

Let’s just dive right in (is Alexis rubbing off on me?).

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This should have been her opening line.

Tonight on the Bachelor…there’s a helicopter ride, something with wedding dress, a ferris wheel, and oh goody, lots and lots of drama. Nick’s biggest fear is already that this is gonna blow up in his face and some girl slaps him (Josephine I think?).

First off, Corinne toasts to Nick and everyone is so excited that they can’t sleep. They all gush about Nick. Josephine is bursting with excitement. Now they’re just waiting for the date card besides all yelling Nick’s name in unison.

Right on cue, we get Chris Harrison. He explains how this works. There’s 2 group dates and 1 one-on-one date. He also states that not everyone will get a date this week, so aka no useless tears while complaining about time. First group date: Corinne, Vanessa, Sarah, Alexis, Hailey, Lacey, Brittany, Jasmine, Raven, Danielle L., Taylor, and Elizabeth W. Corinne goes “I’ve never been a bridesmaid”, probably because she doesn’t have that many friends. She also states she’d marry Nick today if she could. Girl, you barely know him. Hug tokens don’t lead to marriage.

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Literally an inner working of Corinne’s brain at this point.

They reach the venue and they all start running but I don’t think they know where they’re going. Lacey says that Nick could wear a potato sack and still look good. Ehh, debatable. Nick pretty much tells the girls that these dates are weird so have fun and don’t take it seriously. Wow, this is much more needed than you would think. They’re talking wedding photos today, so ha! Thing is though they’re all assigned a type of bride. Vanessa is the 80s bride, Alexis is a shotgun bride, and Brittany is an Adam and Eve bride so she only gets an underwear to wear?! How classy and non-demeaning. Everyone else is alas, a bridesmaid. And then of course, with no time for formalities, the drama begins. Corinne goes on and on about how she’s not wearing that much and she’s the hottest bride and how she’s already kissed Nick, and Taylor gets offended, saying she think Corinne is trying to psyche her out and girl, it’s already working. Next Brittany steps into the room half-naked and you can see Corinne’s face go from 100 to 0, real quick. There’s more than one problem going on here already.

And now time for the photos. We have an elopement marriage with Sarah, which is all kinds of weird, then we have a Biker wedding with Hailey, which why would anyone want that, then a shotgun wedding with Alexis, which OMG why is everything with this girl so cringey, then the 1980’s bride crew with Vanessa, which was one of the better shoots. Jasmine G., is already complaining and she kisses Nick. Umm hello, you’re the bridesmaid, not the bride. Danielle L., has the traditional wedding and she looks stunning. Everyone is kissing Nick now, but Lacey definitely takes the cake. She exclaims “tastes like Danielle” when Lacey kisses Nick after Danielle does and I just feel like it can’t get any weirder than that.

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